The Host Chapter 42: Forced

Ians jaw fell slack. You what?Ill explain in a minute. This isnt dependable to you, notwithstanding please. Just buss me.It wont upset you? Melanie wont both(prenominal)er you?Ian I complained. pleaseStill confused, he format his turn over on my waist and pulled my organic structure against his. His position was so worried, I wondered if this would even work. I large(p)ly take a advanced smarted the romance, but maybe he did.He closed his look as he leaned toward me, an automatic thing. His lips pressed lightly against mine once, and consequently he pulled vertebral column to look at me with the same worried expression.no(prenominal)hing.No, Ian. Really kiss me. Like like youre enterpriseing to get slapped. Do you understand?No. Whats wrong? Tell me depression.I put my arms near his neck. It entangle strange I wasnt at all sure how to do this reclaim. I pushed up on my toes and pulled his head down at the same measure until I could reach his lips with mine.This wouldnt keep up worked with another species. Another mentality wouldnt down been so easily overwhelmed by its consistence. Other species had their priorities in founder order. and Ian was human, and his body responded.I shoved my brim against his, gripping his neck tighter with my arms when his first reaction was to hold me away. Remembering how his m step forwardh had moved with mine sooner, I tested to mimic that movement flat. His lips opened with mine, and I felt an suspicious thrill of triumph at my success. I caught his lower lip betwixt my teeth and heard a low, wild sound break from his pharynx in surprise.And then I didnt have to try any more. One of Ians work force trapped my face, while the other clamped around the small of my back, holding me so close that it was hard to pull a breath into my constricted chest. I was gasping, but so was he. His breath mingled with mine. I felt the st one and only(a) groyne touch my back, press against it. He used it to bin d me even closer. there was no part of me that wasnt fused to part of him.It was just the two of us, so close that we hardly counted as two.Just us.No one else.Alone.Ian felt it when I gave up. He must have been holduping for this-not as entirely ruled by his body as Id imagined. He eased back as soon as my arms went limp, but kept his face next to mine, the tip of his nose touching the tip of mine.I dropped my arms, and he took a deep breath. Slowly, he loosened both his manpower and then placed them lightly on my berms.Explain, he said.Shes not here, I whispered, quiet down breathing in gasps. I privyt find her. Not even now.Melanie?I cant hear her Ian, how can I go back in to Jamie? Hell go with that Im lying How can I tell him that Ive mixed-up his sister now? Ian, hes sick I cant tell him that Ill upset him, make it harder for him to get well. I -Ians fingers pressed against my lips. Shh, shh. Okay. Lets remember ab place(predicate) this. When was the last time you heard her?Oh, Ian It was justly after I saw in the hospital. And she tried to defend them and I screamed at her and I-I made her go away And I havent heard her since. I cant find herShh, he said again. Calmly. Okay. Now, what do you rightfully want? I know you dont want to upset Jamie, but hes overtaking to be beautiful regardless. So, consider-would it be better, just for you, if -No I cant erase Melanie I cant. That would be wrong That would make me a monster, tooOkay, all right Okay. Shh. So we have to find her?I nodded urgently.He took another deep breath. Then you need to really be overwhelmed, dont you?I dont know what you mean.I was afraid I did, though.Kissing Ian was one thing-even a pleasant thing, maybe, if I wasnt so racked with worry-but anything more elaborate Could I? Mel would be furious if I used her body that way. Was that what I had to do to find her? just now what around Ian? It was so grossly unfair to him.Ill be right back, Ian promised. Stay here.He pre ssed me against the bulwark for emphasis and then ducked back out into the hallway.It was hard to obey. I cherished to follow him, to see what he was doing and where he was going. We had to talk about this I had to think it through. But I had no time. Jamie was waiting for me, with questions that I couldnt decide with lies. No, he wasnt waiting for me he was waiting for Melanie. How could I have make this? What if she was really gone?Mel, Mel, Mel, come back Melanie, Jamie need you. Not me-he needs you. Hes sick, Mel. Mel, can you hear that? Jamie is sickI was talking to myself. No one heard.My hands were trembling with fear and stress. I wouldnt be able to wait here much longer. I felt like the anxiety was going to make me swell until I popped.Finally, I heard footsteps. And enunciates. Ian wasnt alone. Confusion move through me.Just think of it as an experiment, Ian was saying.Are you crazy? J ard answered. Is this well-nigh sick joke?My gestate dropped through the floor. Overwhelmed. Thats what hed meant.Blood burned in my face, hot as Jamies fever. What was Ian doing to me? I wanted to run, to hide somewhere better than my last hiding place, somewhere I could never, ever be found, no matter how many flashlights they used. But my legs were shaking, and I couldnt move.Ian and Jared came into view in the dwell where the tunnels met. Ians face was expressionless he had one hand on Jareds shoulder and was guiding him, almost pushing him forward. Jared was staring at Ian with anger and doubt. by here, Ian encouraged, forcing Jared toward me. I flattened my back against the rock.Jared saw me, saw my mortified expression, and stopped.Wanda, whats this about?I threw Ian one blazing glance of reproach and then tried to meet Jareds look.I couldnt do it. I looked at his feet instead.I lost Melanie, I whispered.You lost herI nodded miserably.His voice was hard and angry. How?Im not sure. I made her be quiet but she unendingly comes back always onward I cant hear her now and JamieShes gone? Muted pain in his voice.I dont know. I cant find her.Deep breath. Why does Ian think I have to kiss you?Not kiss me, I said, my voice so faint I could barely hear it myself. Kiss her. nada upset her more than when you kissed us before. Nothing pulled her to the surface like that. peradventure No. You dont have to. Ill try to find her myself.I still had my eyes on his feet, so I saw him step toward me.You think, if I kiss her?I couldnt even nod. I tried to swallow.Familiar hands napped my neck, tracing down either side to my shoulders. My heart thudded loud teeming that I wondered if he could hear it.I was so embarrassed, forcing him to touch me this way. What if he thought it was a trick-my idea, not Ians?I wondered if Ian was still there, watching. How much would this trouble him?One hand continued, as I knew it would, down my arm to my wrist, leave a trail of fire behind it. The other cupped beneath my jaw, as I knew it must, and pulled my f ace up.His memorial tab permit pressed against mine, the skin burning where we were connected, and he whispered in my ear.Melanie. I know youre there. Come back to me.His cheek slowly slid back, and his chin tilted to the side so that his mouth cover mine.He tried to kiss me softly. I could tell that he tried. But his intentions went up in smoke, just like before.There was fire everywhere, because he was everywhere. His hands traced my skin, burning it. His lips tasted every inch of my face. The rock wall slammed into my back, but there was no pain. I couldnt sense of smell anything besides the burning.My hands gnarled in his hair, pulling him to me as if there were any possible way for us to be closer. My legs wrapped around his waist, the wall giving me the supplement I needed. His tongue twisted with mine, and there was no part of my sense that was not invaded by the insane desire that possessed me.He pulled his mouth free and pressed his lips to my ear again.Melanie Stryder It was so loud in my ear, a growl that was almost a shout. You entrust not leave me. Dont you venerate me? Prove it Prove it Damn it, Mel Get back here His lips attacked mine again.Ahhh, she groaned weakly in my head.I couldnt think to greet her. I was on fire.The fire burned its way to her, back to the tiny corner where she drooped, nigh lifeless.My hands fisted around the fabric of Jareds T-shirt, yanking it up. This was their idea I didnt tell them what to do. His hands burned on the skin of my back.Jared? she whispered. She tried to orient herself, but the mind we shared was so disoriented.I felt the muscles of his stomach under my palms, my hands crushed between us.What? Where Melanie struggled.I broke away from his mouth to breathe, and his lips sear their way down my throat. I buried my face in his hair, inhaling the scent.Jared Jared NOI let her flow through my arms, knowing this was what I wanted, though I could barely pay attention now. The hands on his stomach turned hard, angry. The fingers clawed at his skin and then shoved him as hard as they could.NO she shouted through my lips.Jared caught her hands, then caught me against the wall before I could fall. I sagged, my body confused by the conflicting directions it was receiving.Mel? MelWhat are you doing?He groaned in relief. I knew you could do it Ah, MelHe kissed her again, kissed the lips that she now controlled, and we could both taste the tears that ran down his face.She bit him.Jared jumped back from us, and I slid to the floor, get in a wilted heap.He started laughing. Thats my girl. You still got her, Wanda?Yes, I gasped.What the hell, Wanda? she screeched at me.Where have you been? Do you have any idea what Ive been going through move to find you?Yeah, I can see that you were really suffering.Oh, Ill suffer, I promised her. I could already feel it coming on. Just like beforeShe was flipping through my thoughts as fast as she could. Jamie?Thats what Ive been trying to tell you. He n eeds you.Then why arent we with him?Because hes probably a bit youngish to watch this kind of thing.She searched through some more. Wow, Ian, too. Im glad I lost(p) that part.I was so worried. I didnt know what to doWell, cmon. Lets go.Mel? Jared asked.Shes here. Shes furious. She wants to see Jamie.Jared put his arm around me and helped me up. You can be as mad as you want, Mel. Just stick around.How long was I gone?Three age is all.Her voice was suddenly smaller. Where was I?You dont know?I cant remember anything.We shuddered.You okay? Jared asked.Sort of.Was that her before, talking to me-talking out loud?Yes. endure she can you let her do that now?I sighed. I was already exhausted. I can try. I closed my eyes.Can you get past me? I asked her. Can you talk to him?I How? Where?I tried to flatten myself against the inside of my head. Cmon, I murmured. Here.Melanie struggled, but there was no way out.Jareds lips came down on mine, hard. My eyes flew open in shock. His gold-flecke d eyes were open, too, half an inch away.She jerked our head back. repel that out Dont touch herHe smiled, the little creases feathering out around his eyes. Hey, baby.Thats not funny.I tried to breathe again. Shes not laughing.He left field his arm around me. Around us. We walked out into the tunnel junction, and there was no one there. No Ian.Im warning you, Mel, Jared said, still smiling widely. Teasing. You better block right here. Im not make any guarantees about what I will or wont do to get you back.My stomach fluttered.Tell him Ill throttle him if he touches you like that again. But her threat was a joke, too.Shes threatening your life right now, I told him. But I think shes being facetious.He laughed, sappy with relief. Youre so serious all the time, Wanda.Your jokes arent funny, I muttered. Not to me.Jared laughed again.Ah, Melanie said. You are suffering.Ill try not to let Jamie see.Thank you for bringing me back.I wont erase you, Melanie. Im poor I cant give you mor e than that.Thank you.Whats she saying?Were just making up.Why couldnt she talk before, when you were trying to let her?I dont know, Jared. There really isnt enough room for both of us. I cant seem to get myself out of the way completely. Its like not like holding your breath. Like trying to pause your heartbeats. I cant make myself not exist. I dont know how.He didnt answer, and my chest throbbed with pain. How joyful he would be if I could figure out how to erase myselfMelanie wanted to not to contradict me, but to make me feel better she struggled to find words to soften my agony. She couldnt come up with the right ones.But Ian would be devastated. And Jamie. Jeb would miss you. You have so many friends here.Thanks.I was glad that we were back to our room now. I needed to think about something else before I started crying. Now wasnt the time for self-pity. There were more crucial issues at hand than my heart, breaking yet again.